Box cutters....

I think I've met a new enemy...Box Cutters. I was working on a hollow book for my love last night when suddenly, the box cutter I was using caught on the paper and slid bad at me...It was not fun at 2am. Now, I'm a big wimp, so I didn't want to go to the ER for it. It probably could have been sewn up, but I don't like needles, so I'm just keeping it held together until it heals. it already looks a lot better.

Clearly going to leave a scar, but hey, its a finger, Oh Well. And yes, I said it looks much better now and it looks like that. I probably should have gone to the ER, but its too late now, I just have to watch for infection and keep it covered and clean.

62 days.

I have gone 62 days without using damaging hair products or heat styling my hair. That may not seem like much, but that's 2 months. I'm 1/6 of the way done with this challenge,and doing great. My boyfriend is happy, because he loves my curly hair, and I'm happy because I'm starting to like my natural hair. 62 days is still only the beginning, but I'm happy with how it's been thus far.

This is my I'm-very-tired-I've-been-baking-cookies-all-day face

My hair is less frizz and poof and more pretty curls, and I'm hoping as it grows it'll look even better.

Scales.

Last night I took a CPR class. I thought "Alright shouldn't be took bad, yea, it might be a bit harder for me than the other people taking it because of my size and lack of experience, but oh well, I'll get it" I thought wrong. Yes, I got it after the third try, and I passed the class and got the certification, but my instructor made jokes about me the entire time. I could handle the jokes about my choice in career, or the ones about my last name, but he made fun of my WEIGHT.

Clearly I'm not fat, so I should be fine with people saying things about my weight, right? Wrong. It hurts just as much to be call "A walking stick figure" or "Olive Oil" (Yes, like the Popeye Character) I weigh 115 pounds. I'm finally in the healthy weight for my age and height.

I was on the brink of tears the entire class, and I'm hoping when I have to take it again, that he isn't anywhere nearby. I was so hurt because I was anorexic for 3 years. I'm still in recovery and have trouble making sure I eat often enough. 

So, to anyone who has ever told someone else to "Go eat a cheeseburger", it hurts. and to anyone who has been judged for their weight in anyway, don't let them get you down, stay strong.

Sad.

I've been depressed since I was 12.  I wasn't diagnosed officially until this past February, meaning, I couldn't really get help before then.  I officially stopped cutting forever on 10/2/12. I was the queen of "I'm fine" and fake smiles. I hardly talked to anyone, it took so much effort to do anything. I didn't want to eat or move from my bed. I did horribly in school, didn't care about anything.

I still struggle with it, but I don't self harm anymore and I don't want to die. I force myself to move forward and keep pushing on with my life. I want to help other people who are struggling. I want to go to college and study psychology so I can open a center for people who can't get the help they need.